DeathCare (.com)

Fort Logan National Cemetery

Veterans often become confused about burial in this nation’s national cemeteries, when funeral homes and the Veterans Administration (VA) want to offer a less expensive and respectable way to honor America’s military men and women. Funeral homes often are involved in the arrangements, as the VA does not get involved in making funeral arrangements or in performing cremations.

While the benefits do not cover all costs, they can help make the funeral service more affordable. Additionally, no special forms are required to request burial in a VA national cemetery. The person who makes the funeral arrangements can have his or her funeral home contact the national cemetery in which burial is desired. Scheduling is done seven days a week for interments on Mondays through Fridays.

Much confusion remains about who can be buried at national cemeteries, however. The VA Web site offers this information in detail, and the list of the eligible persons is included below, followed by a list of those individuals who cannot be buried in a national cemetery:

Eligible

• Veterans and Members of the Armed Forces, including Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard.
• Member of Reserve Components and Reserve Officers’ Training Corps
• Commissioned Officers, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
• Public Health Service (Regular or Reserve Corps of the Public Health Service)
• World War II Merchant Mariners
• The Philippine Armed Forces
• Spouses and Dependents
• Others include “Such other persons or classes of persons as designated by the Secretary of Veterans Affairs (38 U.S.C. § 2402(6)) or the Secretary of Defense (Public Law 95-202, § 401, and 38 CFR § 3.7(x)).”

Ineligible

• Former Spouses
• Other Family Members (such as sisters, brothers, etc.)
• Disqualifying Characters of Discharge
• Discharge from Draft
• Person Found Guilty of a Capital Crime
• Any person convicted of subversive activities after September 1, 1959. Eligibility will be reinstated if the President of the United States grants a pardon.
• Active or Inactive Duty for Training
• “Members of groups whose service has been determined by the Secretary of the Air Force under the provisions of Public Law 95-202 as not warranting entitlement to benefits administered by the Secretary of Veterans Affairs.”

Australian Cardiac Victims Can Donate Organs

Are you afraid that doctors will declare that you’re dead when you’re still alive but not responsive? The fear of being buried alive is a long-standing one, but these days folks might fear being tagged for organ or total body donation when they are, in fact, still alive. Have you ever thought about what measure is used to determine when people really are dead?

In the past, the fear of being buried alive was so widespread that special coffins were devised with life-saving devices. Edgar Allen Poe wrote about these premature burial fears in 1844 and as late as 1896, the Association for the Prevention of Premature Burials was founded. But, these premature burial fears were founded in the practice of burying a body as soon as possible after death.

Few if any premature burials are noted today, but with the rising interest in organ and full-body donations, some people might fear being cut open for research or donation purposes before they are fully deceased. On the other hand, many donors may not be able to donate organs, especially if they die of cardiac failure or disease.

Currently in Australia, the most common form of organ donation occurs among brain-dead patients, because cardiac deaths take too long to diagnose. In a recent news item, the Australian and New Zeland Intensive Care Society has called for new international standards on diagnosing death so organ donations can be boosted from cardiac deaths. The problem with organ donations is that the organs must be obtained as soon as possible after death. With brain death, which does not require a rapid diagnosis because a brain-dead person can be maintained on artificial life support until the donation operation, the timing is not crucial. But, a cardiac death is different, as diagnosis must be made quickly so the organs can be harvested before they become damaged from lack of circulation.

In Australia, cardiac death is declared when someone stops moving, breathing and lacks a pulse for two minutes or more. But, doctors want to extend this diagnosis to include two minutes after circulation ceases to ensure the heart won’t start again on its own. Death would be declared after circulation ceases, even if the brain shows signs of activity. This new way to diagnose deaths among cardiac victims also can reassure both practitioners and the public that donors after death truly are dead.

This diagnosis would be most valuable in cases where the patient does not want to be resuscitated. If doctors can wait two minutes after circulation ceases in a patient that is immobile, without pulse and not breathing, then the organ donation surgery can begin immediately without undue harm to the donated organs. And, patients and their families can rest assured that the patient truly is dead.

Australia and New Zealand hope to adopt this new policy by September 2009.

Organ Donations are Vital to Others

Are you confused about organ donations? Don’t feel alone - each state and each country in the world has laws that dictate how and why organ donations can be done. While it may be a simple act for you to donate your organs on your driver’s license when you renew it in the U.S., the recipient may have already learned that obtaining that lung, heart or other body part that could save his or her life is not so easy.

As of February 2009, for example, 4,500 people sit waiting for organ transplants – 2,717 waiting for kidneys, 191 for livers and 54 for a pancreas in New Jersey alone. Most will die waiting. In 2007, 6,674 people passed away in that state as they awaited a lung, heart, kidney or liver transplant.

The reason behind the lack of organs is because in New Jersey and in the rest of the country, organ donation operates as an “opt-in” system. An individual is not considered an organ donor unless he or she explicitly declares a desire to be one, whether it be on a driver’s license or in a will (which often is not read until after the body is well past an ideal state for organ transplants). The individual’s autonomy to make decisions about if and how his body is used at death is paramount.

Other nations, recognizing the dearth of donor organs and the preventable nature of deaths awaiting transplant, have undertaken an active reconsideration of their policies. In January, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced the strong possibility of the United Kingdom shifting to a plan of “presumed consent” (also known as “opt-out”) where an individual is an organ donor unless otherwise specified. He believes that many more lives will be saved if the UK adopts the same system as countries such as Spain and Austria.

But, there are two sides to the debate, based mainly on ethical standards. Opting in provides individuals with the autonomy to consent in the context of their own morals, values and any religious beliefs. An opting-out system imposes and implies that organ donation is the right thing to do and is expected as an altruistic act by all. Junior Health Minister Ben Bradshaw acknowledged that assumed consent was a “delicate issue” but argued: “Even in those countries like Spain that have presumed consent, organs are not ripped out of people without the families consenting to that.”

Do you have plans to donate your organs to someone who may need them when you die? If so, then you may want to learn more about how this procedure is done in your region. If not, then think about how you may save someone’s life with this simple act.

Learn more about organ donations at OrganDonor.gov.

Scatter on a beach.

Do you wish to have your remains scattered after a cremation? If so, make your wishes known now to friends and/or loved ones so no one is taken aback by your request once you’re gone. Once you’ve made your decision and informed loved ones, you still need to decide how you’ll want your cremains (remains after cremation) scattered.

There are six basic ways to scatter remains and each one has benefits and problems, which are listed below. No matter which method you decide, just know that scattering cremains is legal in every state; however, scattering on public property needs a property owner’s permission and scattering on public property needs permission and often permits as well.

1. Aerial Scattering: After scaqttering ashes at home, this is the most popular method for scattering cremains. But, despite the popularity (or perhaps because of it), many people experience sometimes traumatic issues if a professional is not hired to help with this method. There are stories of cremains blowing back into a plane, wrong locations pointed out and more. A coordinated effort with the weather can bring joy and closure to those on the ground, as on clear days you actually can see the cremains falling from the plane like a cloud.
2. Water Scattering: A boat can be as interesting as a plane when scattering cremains over water. Watching for wind patterns is essential to keep cremains from blowing back on mourners or onto the boat. One way to remedy this situation is to use a water-soluble urn. These urns are designed to degrade in water, which helps to spread the cremains into the water body easily. This type of urn usually floats for a few minutes before it sinks slowly. Once again, you might want to hire a professional for this service so everything goes smoothly.
3. Casting: This method of scattering cremains involves tossing cremains to the wind. Once again, wind patterns are important, as while some cremains are heavy and dense like sand, other portions may fly into the wind and fly back onto mourners.
4. Trenching: This method involves digging a trench, depositing the cremains in the trench, and then raking back over it to cover the cremains. One burial site mentions a beautiful idea that involves digging a trench in sand on a beach during low tide, then waiting for the high tide to come in to wash the cremains out to sea.
5. Ringing: This method involves pouring the cremains in a circle on the ground, with or without a trench. Usually, the cremains are used to circle a bush (perhaps a rose bush), trees or memory tables.
6. Raking: A cemetery that contains a scattering garden may offer this opportunity, where a loved one’s cremains are raked into the earth. This method also is used by many who choose to leave their cremains on an old homeplace or in a public location like a park.

If you choose to scatter your cremated remains, you might learn that some family members may want to keep a piece of you with them. The individuals who have the legal right to authorize a cremation usually have the right to determine the disposition of remains as well. These decisions usually are easier to make while you are still alive.

Look for signs of stress

One hundred and twenty-eight (128) soldiers committed suicide in 2008, and another fifteen cases are pending. This is a record number of suicides over the past three decades since the Army has been keeping records. This year, 2009, the Army appears to be headed toward a new record for suicides within ranks.

In January alone, nearly two dozen confirmed or suspected suicides were confirmed - a total that may top the number of soldiers killed in combat in both Iraq and Afghanistan. The Army said the total number of potential or confirmed suicides since January stands at 82. While the Army cannot determine why suicide rates are so high, they have their suspicions after searching for some answers.

In some cases, it has been determined that the problem is based in unhealthy and risky behavior. While soldiers are encouraged to take risks during combat, this behavior seems to spill over into private life - but, soldiers are taking the wrong types of risks when they’re off duty.

Additionally, failed marriages, financial problems, military disciplinary actions and upcoming deployments may add to the stress. When drugs and alcohol are added to the mix, a lethal decision-making process may ensue.

According to one CNN article, the Army implemented a service-wide effort to combat the suicide problem in January. This effort included a stand-down for 1.1 million soldiers who were identified as experiencing signs of distress in the ranks.

Fort Hood, Texas, the largest base in the U.S. that is home to the 4th Infantry Division has seen multiple deployments to Iraq. However, base commander Lt. Gen. Rick Lynch managed to identify one major stress problem on the base:

Soldiers were working long hours and not spending time with their families between deployments…Lynch made “focus on the family” a key part of Fort Hood’s environment. He insists that every soldier on a day schedule leave work in time to be home for dinner by 6 p.m. On Thursday, many are told to leave by 3 p.m. so they can have the afternoon with the family. And no one at Fort Hood works weekends unless Lynch signs off on it.

The steps appear to be working. Although the base has recorded two suicides since the start of the year, that is well below many other major Army bases.

Here are some warning signs for suicide, offered by the Cleveland Clinic:

• Excessive sadness or moodiness — Long-lasting sadness and mood swings can be symptoms of depression, a major risk factor for suicide.
• Sudden calmness — Suddenly becoming calm after a period of depression or moodiness can be a sign that the person has made a decision to end his or her life.
• Withdrawal — Choosing to be alone and avoiding friends or social activities also are possible symptoms of depression. This includes the loss of interest or pleasure in activities the person previously enjoyed.
• Changes in personality and/or appearance — A person who is considering suicide might exhibit a change in attitude or behavior, such as speaking or moving with unusual speed or slowness. In addition, the person might suddenly become less concerned about his or her personal appearance.
• Dangerous or self-harmful behavior — Potentially dangerous behavior, such as reckless driving, engaging in unsafe sex, and increased use of drugs and/or alcohol might indicate that the person no longer values his or her life.
• Recent trauma or life crisis — A major life crises might trigger a suicide attempt. Crises include the death of a loved one or pet, divorce or break-up of a relationship, diagnosis of a major illness, loss of a job, or serious financial problems.
• Making preparations — Often, a person considering suicide will begin to put his or her personal business in order. This might include visiting friends and family members, giving away personal possessions, making a will, and cleaning up his or her room or home. Some people will write a note before committing suicide.
• Threatening suicide — Not everyone who is considering suicide will say so, and not everyone who threatens suicide will follow through with it. However, every threat of suicide should be taken seriously.

View of Mt. of Olives

Do you get squeamish at the thought of cemeteries? If you put cemeteries into a new light, such as one that shines from history or from downright silly trivia, you may not be so intimidated. While cemeteries hold remains of the dead, they also hold some interesting facts such as the ones listed below:

1. The word “cemetery,” which is the traditional place to bury the dead, comes from the German words koimeterion (meaning a sleeping place), and koiman (to put to sleep). The word, “graveyard,” was not recorded until the early 19th century.
2. The The oldest known Jewish cemetery is the Mount of Olives Cemetery located in Jerusalem and also a burial ground for people of Muslim and Christian faiths. This cemetery is first mentioned in connection with David’s flight from Absalom in II Samuel 15:30.
3. The first tombstone recorded in the Bible is in Genesis 35:20, where Jacob set up a pillar (tombstone) on Rachel’s grave on the road to Bethlehem.
4. In March 2002, archaeologists removed what is believed to be the oldest Christian tombstone found in Japan. Discovered near Osaka, Japan, the grave marker relic was dated in the 16th century from the ground in Osaka Japan. Historians believe the tombstone was buried to hide it from authorities who persecuted Christian in its time.
5. Located on Route 80, near Tombstone, Arizona, the Boot Hill Graveyard became the final resting place to over 250 gunslingers, miners, and other fearless wild west pioneers. One of the tombstone epitaphs reads, Here lies Lester Moore 4 slugs from a 44 no less no more.
6. A U.S. flag, the Declaration of Independence and an autographed picture of President Woodrow Wilson are just a few of the many items placed inside of the Arlington National Cemetery’s cornerstone, which was placed in the cemetery in 1915.
7. Although Union soldiers were removed from shallow and inadequate burial sites at Gettysburg battlefield to a new cemetery shortly after that battle, it was seven years before Confederate soldiers were removed from their shallow battlefield graves. From 1870 to 1873, upon the initiative of the Ladies Memorial Associations of Richmond, Raleigh, Savannah and Charleston, 3,320 Confederate remains were dug up and sent to cemeteries in the south.
8. The oldest known pet cemetery was uncovered in Green Country, Illinois by archaeologist, Dr. Stewart Schrever. He believes the pets were interred there around 6500 BC.
9. The oldest operating pet cemetery in the United States is the Hartsdate Pet Cemetery in New York, established in 1896. It also bills itself as “America’s First and Most Prestigious Pet Burial Grounds.”
10. The Vicksburg National Cemetery has the distinction of having the largest number of Civil War interments of any national cemetery in the United States. Of the approximate 17,000 Union veterans, only 5,000 are known. There are no Confederate burials here.
11. Chicago’s Lincoln Park was created in 1864. The original 120 acre cemetery had most of its graves removed and was expanded to more than 1000 acres for recreational use. A small-pox hospital was located on the grounds as well.
12. Saint Joseph’s Cemetery, the only known United States cemetery facing north-south is located in Rayne, Louisiana. It was once listed in Ripley’s Believe it or Not!

Grief

What better place to find information on grief and grieving than through a hospice site? A hospice is geared to helping people transition from life to death and to helping families ease the pain of loss.  The following list is comprised of ten great sites that contain information about how to handle the grieving process for yourself or for others. They are listed in alphabetical order:

1. A Guide to Grief: Although this Web site is not connected to any organization, their information on grief and grieving is extensive.
2. Are you grieving? The Hospice Yukon offers some advice on grieving and loss.
3. Grief: The Price We Pay For Love: Twin Lakes Hospice offers information on the stages of grief as well as tips on how to handle your grieving process.
4. Helpful Advice for the Grieving Person: Hospice of Morongo Basin provides some very helpful hints on how to deal with the grieving process.
5. HFA Grief Resource Page: These resources are offered by the Hospice Foundation of America. Take some time to read their December E-newsletter look at grief during the holidays linked at that page.
6. I Know Someone Who is Grieving: Hospice of Santa Barbara answers all types of questions about grief and offers advice on how to help friends and relatives who are grieving.
7. Myths and Realities: Hospice of Michigan offers some advice from their online grief counseling pages. If you live in the area, you also can take advantage of group activities that can help you through the grieving process.
8. The Grieving Persons Bill of Rights: According to Lion Hospice, ” You are the one who is grieving, and as such, you have certain “rights” no one should try to take away from you.
9. The Grieving Process: Hospice Family Care also covers the signs of grief, things to do for yourself and thing you can do for others to help them through the grieving process.
10. The Grieving Teen: Teens grieve deeply but often work very hard to hide their feelings. Learn more from the American Hospice Foundation about how to handle this special grief. This is just one part of their larger Grief Center online.

In Lieu of Flowers...

What does it mean when an obituary announcement includes the phrase “In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to…”? This statement means the family of the deceased would prefer donations from the friends and relatives to a charity rather than flowers at the funeral home or at the grave site. But, this statement often singles out the floral industry in a negative manner, and funeral directors may be asked to comply with newspaper obituary guidelines which prohibit discriminatory phrases.

According to the Web site, In Lieu of Flowers, other phrases may be used that do not discriminate against the floral industry:

• The family suggests memorial contributions be sent to….
• Should friends desire, contributions may be sent to….
• Memorials may be made to the charity of your choice.
• The …. Memorial has been established for those wishing to contribute.
• As an expression of sympathy, memorial contributions may be sent to….
• The family has designated the …. for memorial contributions.
• Remembrances may be made in the form desired by friends.
• Memorial contributions may be made to….
• Flowers are welcome Contributions may be sent to….

While some families may regret not having flowers at a funeral, in my experience (which includes a few funerals), people cannot resist sending flowers. When flowers are sent, they usually come from people who feel ’strange’ if they don’t send flowers as this is a traditional practice. Often, these same people also will make a donation to the charity.

While flowers often comfort the living as well as provide a soothing and caring tribute to the deceased, be aware - many time flowers are not wanted as someone in the family may be allergic to them. Often, if this is the case, the family will ask to “please omit” flowers in the obituary or death notice. In this case, if you must offer flowers, pick up a few at a florist and take them to the gravesite later. At least you know that you’ve honored the deceased in your own special way.

NHDD

On April 19 this year, the nation celebrated its first National Healthcare Decisions Day (NHDD). The National Healthcare decisions Day was designed to help Americans understand that making future healthcare decisions includes much more than deciding what care they would or would not want regarding their health. This initiative also advocates “expressing preferences, clarifying values, identifying care preferences and selecting an agent to express healthcare decisions if patients are unable to speak for themselves.”

In other words, this initiative urges Americans to prepare documents that will clarify your intent, especially when you are not able to communicate this directive because you are incapacitated. While most documents that declare a “Do Not Resuscitate” order if you do not wish to be resuscitated or placed upon life support, many individuals now see this alternative as an AND, or “Allow Natural Death.”

Although advance directives cannot reduce medical expenses for all dying patients, some studies indicate that life-sustaining treatments and other forms of end-of-life care can be extraordinarily expensive and an unnecessary strain on healthcare resources. Each year, for instance, Medicare allocates approximately 30 percent of its funds to the five percent of recipients who pass away during that year.

According to an ABC News article:

According to a recent study by the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, America could reduce medical costs by $75 million a year if more cancer patients discussed living wills with their families or medical professionals before it became too late. Assuming these figures hold true for other groups of Americans, the potential national savings could be far greater.

Nathan Kottkamp, a healthcare attorney and founder of the initiative, boasts about the success of this year’s initiative that took place on April 16. According to new numbers, at least 3,755 people completed advance directive documents while the campaign exposed potentially millions of Americans to the organization’s message.

“[Living wills] save Americans money because we are more efficient,” Kottkamp emphasized. “This is not saving money because we are pulling the plug.” Furthermore, Kottkamp insists that reducing uncertainty in the medical process can “save tons of money by not involving lawyers.”

Government research, however, shows that living wills or DNR directives are not always effective. Roughly three quarters of physicians treating patients with advance directives were unaware they existed, and some doctors prefer to automatically resuscitate their patients to defend themselves from lawsuits. What can you do to make your wishes known?

Visit the NHDD Web site to learn more. This site also includes links to other sites that can help answer your questions. They also carry information on state-specific resources, although not all states are included.

U.S. military men and women who died overseas during battle or through disease or accidents that occurred during wartime often were buried overseas. Soldiers who died overseas during World War I often were buried several times - a quick burial and then a more formal burial in a local cemetery and then a final burial in an American military cemetery in Europe or a cemetery in the states.

After WWI, the Graves Registration Service (GRS) sent a questionnaire to each deceased soldier’s next of kin, asking whether this person wanted to have the soldier’s remains returned to the U.S. for burial. While some individuals wanted the bodies returned, many opted to leave their loved ones in Europe. Now, more than thirty thousand rest in one of eight overseas American military cemeteries.

During World War II, families had four choices of how they wanted their soldier’s remains handled: 1) leave the remains where they were buried initially; 2) Bury the remains in a cemetery other than an American military cemetery overseas; 3) Bury the remains in an overseas American military cemetery, or; 4) return the remains to the U.S. During the Korean War, all remains initially were shipped to a central mortuary in Japan, and all remains then were shipped back to the U.S.

The following American military cemeteries are those designated for burial of military men and women who served during WWI. The links lead to the American Battle Monuments Commission online, which offers vast information about these cemeteries and more.

France

• Aisne-Marne American Cemetery and Memorial: The 42.5-acre Aisne-Marne Cemetery and Memorial in France sits at the foot of the hill where Belleau Wood stands. The cemetery contains the graves of 2,289 war dead, most of whom fought in the vicinity and in the Marne valley in the summer of 1918. Inscribed on the interior wall of the memorial are 1,060 names of the missing. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified. During World War II, the chapel was damaged slightly by an enemy shell.
• Meuse-Argonne American Cemetery and Memorial: This cemetery covers 130.5 acres and the largest number of U.S. military dead in Europe, a total of 14,246. Most of those buried here lost their lives during the Meuse-Argonne Offensive of World War I. Inscribed on the remaining panels of two loggias are Tablets of the Missing with 954 names, including those from the U.S. expedition to northern Russia in 1918-1919. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.
• Oise-Aisne American Cemetery and Memorial: The Oise-Aisne American Cemetery and Memorial in France contains the remains of 6,012 American war dead, most of whom lost their lives while fighting in this vicinity in 1918 during the First World War. The chapel contains an altar of carved stone. Engraved upon its Walls of the Missing are 241 names. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.
• Somme American Cemetery and Memorial: The World War I Somme American Cemetery and Memorial in France contains 14.3-acres and the graves of 1,844 U.S. military dead. Most lost their lives while serving in American units attached to British armies, or in operations near Cantigny. The chapel walls bear the names of 333 of the missing. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.
• St. Mihiel American Cemetery and Memorial (both World Wars): The World War I St. Mihiel American Cemetery and Memorial in France, 40.5 acres in extent, contains the graves of 4,153 U.S. military dead. The majority of these individuals died in the offensive that resulted in the reduction of the St. Mihiel salient that threatened Paris. On two walls of the museum are recorded the names of 284 of the missing. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.
• Suresnes American Cemetery and Memorial (both World Wars): Originally a World War I cemetery, the Suresnes American Cemetery and Memorial just outside Paris, France now shelters the remains of U.S. dead of both wars. The 7.5-acre cemetery contains the remains of 1,541 Americans who died in World War I and 24 Unknown dead of World War II. Bronze tablets on the walls of the chapel record the names of 974 World War I missing. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.

Belgium

• Flanders Field American Cemetery and Memorial: The Flanders Field American Cemetery and Memorial in Belgium occupies a 6.2-acre site, where 368 U.S. military dead rest, most of whom gave their lives in liberating the soil of Belgium in World War I. 43 names are inscribed on Walls of the Missing. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.

Great Britain

• Brookwood American Cemetery and Memorial: The 4.5 acre Brookwood American Cemetery and Memorial in England lies to the west of the large civilian cemetery built by the London Necropolis Co. and contains the graves of 468 U.S. military dead. On the walls within the chapel are inscribed the names of 563 of the missing. Rosettes mark the names of those since recovered and identified.