Archive for December, 2008

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Caregiver Tips

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

Caring for a loved oneIf you find yourself in the role of caregiver for an elder parent or other person, you might wonder what to do. What do you do first? How can you do this alone? You can find groups and courses offered for those who care for elderly people, and this support and learning is essential. In addition to these resources, you might want to print out the following tip list for your peace of mind.

  • First, install an emergency alert system in the home that can be activated from anywhere within that home.
  • Install grab bars and handrails in places where support is needed, such as showers, stairwells, etc.
  • Secure or remove rugs and keep pathways clear to prevent falls.
  • Post important phone numbers in a convenient place for emergencies.
  • Make sure your parent or other loved one has a will, a durable power of attorney, a health-care proxy and a living will.
  • Be aware that the Family and Medical Leave Act requires employers of 50 or more employees to grant eligible employees unpaid leave to care for a member of their immediate family who has a serious health problem.

Finally, don’t believe that you can do this caregiving alone. Enlist the help of other family members or friends, community services such as meal deliveries and adult day care centers to help. If the patient is in his or her final days, enlist the help of a hospice to help carry your burden.

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Five Creative Funeral Ideas

Monday, December 29th, 2008

A trend today in funerals is to focus on the celebration of a life that passed, rather than focus on that person’s life in the “hereafter.” But, many families are stymied when it comes to that celebration, as they often aren’t prepared to unanimously agree on the funeral arrangements. This type of celebration is best planned ahead, and the best person to plan it is the person who won’t be around to enjoy it.

With that said, you can have a great time now as you plan your funeral and imagine your friends’ or family members’ faces as they encounter what you planned for your departure. Remember, however, that many people may really feel your loss, so give them room to grieve in their own way as well.

One idea would be to hold a memorial service for the heavy-duty grieving, then hold an after-party that might fit in one or more of the few ideas listed below:

  1. Momentos: Pick a vintage wine and make wine labels for the bottle. Put your photo on the label along with your date of birth and a blank for people to pen in your date of death. This is a great idea for someone who enjoys fine wine and cuisine. Other ideas include buttons with photos of the deceased printed on them or bookmarks with the deceased’s photo and birth and death dates. Be considerate about what you choose. For instance, if you’re a heavy drinker and you die of liver disease, don’t go for the wine momento.
  2. Theme funeral: Weddings often are centered on themes, so why not funerals? If you are a history buff, then you might dress the pallbearers in Civil War outfits. If you’re into the 1950s, then poodle skirts and Fonzie jackets might be right. Add theme music and decorations to fit the mood. Follow the National Funeral Directors’ outline to help build your theme.
  3. Special location: If you’re a golfer, can you have your eulogies delivered at the ninth or eighteenth holes of your favorite golf course? Participants can line up and shoot a golf ball, or meet up later to play mini-golf. If you like to swim, have a pool party.
  4. Special cultural touches: My father has had very little to do with New Orleans, and he has no ties to that area. Yet, he would love to have a jazz funeral that winds down the street to the cemetery (explained through the link). Even if your wishes seem crazy, let others know about them and help you with them. Go Native American, Hispanic or Egyptian. Whatever your connection, a cultural touch will let others know more about you (although a bit too late!).
  5. Go to your loved ones: If you have loved ones located all over the world, don’t expect them all to show up to your funeral. Instead, consider cremation and vials. You can have your ashes put into the vials and someone can mail them to your friends. They, then, can scatter your ashes in their special places, locations which may be much more imaginative than you ever dreamed.

For more ideas on how to plan an unorthodox funeral, visit Flat Rock’s Fun Funerals.

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Which Insurance is for You?

Friday, December 26th, 2008

You know you need life insurance, especially if you want to protect your family from bills after you die and to provide them with a financial cushion as they make adjustments to life without you. But, with so many different types of life insurance available, how do you know which one to choose? The following information can help you to choose the right insurance for your current situation.

Term life insurance

Term insurance provides a death benefit only for a specific period of time. If you die within that coverage period, your beneficiary receives the death benefit, or the face amount of the policy. If you live past the term period and your coverage ends, so do the benefits from that insurance.

Term insurance is good for periods ranging up to thirty years, and you might be able to renew the policy for a new term without regard to your health. However, you may be asked to pay higher rates. As you get older, the chance that you will die increases. To cover this increasing risk, your premiums may rise at regular intervals. For this reason, premiums that were quite inexpensive at the time you initially purchased your term policy will become much more expensive as you get older. Most term insurance also has a conversion feature that allows you to switch your coverage to some type of permanent insurance without answering health questions.

Traditional whole life insurance

Whole life insurance is a type of permanent insurance or cash value insurance. Unlike term insurance, permanent insurance provides coverage for your entire life. When you make premium payments, you pay more than is needed to pay for the current costs of insurance coverage and expenses. The excess payment is credited to a cash value account. This cash value account allows the insurance company to charge a level, guaranteed premium (subject to the claims-paying ability of the insurer) and to provide a death benefit and cash value throughout the life of the policy.

As you make payments, the cash value account grows. With traditional whole life insurance, the cash value account is guaranteed, depending upon guarantees associated with payment of death benefits, income options, or rates of return are subject to the claims-paying ability of the insurer. These payments are held in the insurance company’s general portfolio, so you don’t get to choose how the cash value account is invested. However, the cash value can potentially grow beyond its guaranteed amount through the payment of dividends (profits earned by a “mutual” insurer).

Currently, the cash value of a whole life insurance policy grows tax deferred and can either be used as collateral to borrow from the insurance company or be directly accessed through a partial or complete surrender of the policy. It is important to note, however, that a policy loan or partial surrender will reduce the policy’s death benefit, and a complete surrender will terminate coverage altogether. In other words, you lose everything you put into that policy.

If you live to the policy’s maturity date, the policy will “endow,” and the insurance company will pay the accumulated cash value (equal at maturity to the death benefit) to you.

Universal life

Universal life insurance is another type of permanent life insurance with a death benefit and a cash value account. Like whole life insurance, the cash value is held in the insurance company’s general portfolio, and you don’t get to choose how the account is invested. Unlike traditional whole life, universal life insurance allows you flexibility in making premium payments.

Universal life policies usually reveal all aspects of the policy’s cost structure, including the cost of insurance (the portion set aside to pay claims) and expenses. This information is not always available with other types of policies. Another feature of universal life is the option to add the cash value to the face amount when the death benefit is paid. For example, say you die when you have $200,000 of cash value within your $1 million policy. If you chose the enhanced benefit option, your beneficiary receives $1.2 million. Keep in mind, however, that nothing is free. The increased benefit often is reflected in premium calculations.

Variable life

Like other types of permanent life insurance, variable life insurance has a cash value account. But, unlike other types of permanent life insurance, you get to choose how your cash value is invested. A variable life policy generally contains several investment options, known as subaccounts, that are professionally managed to pursue a stated investment objective. Choices can range from a fixed interest subaccount to a highly volatile international growth subaccount. Variable life insurance policies require a fixed annual premium for the life of the policy and may provide a minimum guaranteed death benefit (depending upon the insurer). If the cash value account exceeds a certain amount, the death benefit will increase.

Variable universal life

Variable universal life combines all of the options and flexibility of universal life with the investment choices of a variable policy. This is a true hybrid product, and you make most of the policy decisions. You decide how often and how much your premium payments are to be, within insurer guidelines. With most variable universal life policies, you get no guaranteed minimum cash value or death benefit. Your premium payments in excess of administrative costs and the cost of insurance are invested in the variable subaccounts that you choose.

As with both variable and universal life insurance, your policy may lapse if the cash value account falls below a certain level. Low-interest loans can be taken against your cash value account, and cash withdrawals are available. However, keep in mind that your policy’s face amount is reduced by the amount of a policy withdrawal, and withdrawals may be taxable. You have the option of choosing a fixed or enhanced death benefit. Today, most variable universal life policies offer a rider that guarantees the death benefit at a certain level regardless of the performance of the subaccounts, provided that a stated minimum premium is paid for a predetermined number of years. Any guarantees associated with payment of death benefits, income options, or rates of return are subject to the claims-paying ability of the insurer.

Joint or survivorship life for you and your spouse

Some married couples choose to buy insurance together within the same policy, and the choice of policies can range from any of the policies mentioned previously. Hoever, these policies take the form of either a joint first-to-die or a joint second-to-die (survivorship) option. With first-to-die, the death benefit is paid at the death of the spouse who dies first. With second-to-die, no death benefit is paid until both spouses are deceased. First-to-die policies insure that the surviving spouse has an income to survive. Second-to-die policies are commonly used in estate planning to create a pool of funds to pay estate taxes and other expenses due at the death of the second spouse.

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How to Discuss Death with a Child

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

I was young when my grandmother died, but I remember clearly how I felt. I was sad, but mostly I was scared. I didn’t know what had happened, and – in my family – children were the last ones to know about details. That experience finally led me to counseling, which was a great move. You see, that counseling taught me how to talk about death with my own daughter.

Instead of hiding details, we have dealt with death together a few times during her life. Kids become aware of death well before a family member or friend dies. Pets, birds, insects and roadkill all present opportunities to talk about death and dying. Children hear about death on television and they read about it in books. Death is a part of life and children know it exists. Grieving isn’t confined to adults – children grieve during separations, divorces and even when they lose or break a favorite toy.

So it helps to talk about death well before a loved one dies. What we say or when we say it will depend upon the child’s age and experience. Also, it will depend upon our own experiences, beliefs and feelings as parents. But, it is good to talk about death before a loved one dies, as the feelings that occur during burial preparation and a funeral often color how adults portray facts about death to children.

I have learned that talking about death with my daughter is an ongoing process. She understood death differently as a child than she does now as a teen. But, each time she experienced grief, she felt it the same as any adult. She felt the loss physically, emotionally, spiritually and cognitively, and she needed love, guidance and care the same as any grieving adult.

The best way to talk about death with a child is to be straightforward and honest. Ask local librarians if they have materials on hand to help you with your explanations, as you want to keep it simple. Use an experience, such as the loss of a pet, to open dialogues with a child.

Help that child express his or her feelings about death. Leave openings for them to talk about their feelings or to ask questions. Don’t hide your own feelings, as your child probably knows you better than you know yourself. When you hide your feelings, that child may believe that you are lying about your thoughts as well. That’s not a great way to build trust.

Please don’t tell a child how to feel, as they will experience grief in his or her wn way. The last burden a child needs is to believe that their grief is “wrong” because it isn’t how you said it would be. Grief is personal, and it varies from person to person and from child to child.

Lastly, don’t presume that a child with ‘get over it.’ My experience led me to counseling almost two decades after my grandmother died. I don’t blame my parents for their lack of empathy, as they did what they felt was right at the time. But, I won’t repeat that same experience with my daughter. If your child needs help to wade through his or her grief, bring other loved ones in to help or find a support group or counseling to help provide comfort and care.

Although talking with a child about death isn’t the easiest thing in the world to accomplish, the experience may bring you both closer together. And, that’s what living is all about.

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Hospice Workers Can Help With Last Wishes

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

Do you want to end your days tied up to medical equipment without a chance to recover? Many have watched as other people have made the decision to “pull the plug” on loved ones after years of medical care and expense. If you do not want to put your loved ones through this trauma, the best thing to do is to work with a hospice to make sure your last wishes are known.

Why do you need to involve a hospice? A report in the November 1998 issue of RN Magazine stated that without the advantages of hospice care, the outcomes of last wishes were highly reduced. In a survey conducted by that magazine of 743 hospital-based RN’s, 26 percent “have seen a physician or other health care provider deliberately disregard an advance directive. 47 percent [of respondents to the survey] have seen the patient’s family do the same…Among those respondents working in critical care – the [Intensive Care Unit or Critical Care Unit] – that number jumps to more than half.”

Unless you are involved in a sudden accidental death, you may die from a terminal disease or from old age. In the two latter cases, hospice care can help to assure that your end-of-life decisions are respected. But, they can help only if you create a DNR, or a “Do Not Resuscitate” document, an advanced directive, a PMDD and/or a Durable Medical Power of Attorney.

Many varieties of DNR orders exist, and some may create conflicts within the family. For instance, you may agree to choose a medical intervention that involved oxygen or medication, but eliminate CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation). If your family members disagree with your wishes or if you believe that some family members might interfere, it is best to seek legal advice from a professional attorney who practices in this law area. An attorney can help reassure you that your last wishes will be honored.

Only a “Durable Medical Power of Attorney” will authorize another person to make decisions in the place of the patient when you are unable to communicate your wishes (due to a coma or other cause). If you still are able to communicate your wishes, you then always retain the authority to make your own decisions. When you create a Durable Power of Attorney specifying who can speak on your behalf, and specify in detail what your wishes actually are, your wishes are more likely to be carried out. This way, family who may have been unaware of your wishes are less likely to interfere.

An advance directive tells your doctor what kind of care you would like to have if you become unable to make medical decisions (if you are in a coma, for example). If you are admitted to the hospital for illness or surgery, the hospital staff will probably talk to you about advance directives.

The PMDD (Protective Medical Decisions Document) is a protective Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care which is available from the International Task Force. It is a document in which you name someone you trust (a family member, close friend or hospice care worker) to make health care decisions for you if you ever become permanently or temporarily unable to make such decisions for yourself.

If you do not create documents that detail your last wishes and a family member calls the EMS when you are at the point of death, the EMS personnel may be legally required to perform CPR even though you are in hospice and “ready” to pass away. Performing CPR on a terminally ill patient may be extremely painful to the patient and emotionally upsetting for the family.

When you make decisions ahead of time by filling out advanced directive forms, a PMDD or DNR forms to clarify your wishes, you have a legal chance to have your last wishes honored. has You can change your forms at any time, simply by making your wishes known or by re-creating those documents. And, by choosing a hospice care worker as a person to help you meet your last wishes, you can avoid using a family member or a friend as a person who must make tough decisions as they honor your requests.

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How to Cope with a Co-Worker’s Death

Friday, December 19th, 2008

When you apply for a job, you may not realize at first that your co-workers eventually become your extended family. Over time, office parties, get-togethers and even over-the-cubicle interactions bond employees. While these relationships may differ from our family and friends, they still build bonds of trust and intimacy. This is why a co-worker’s death can be difficult to handle, especially if you were close to that person.

You may experience feelings of anxiety and guilt if the death occurred in the workplace or if your last interaction with that person was unpleasant. Even if the co-worker’s death resulted from a long illness, you may experience shock and denial upon hearing the news.

When a co-worker leaves the workplace forever, you may experience both emotional and physical symptoms. These feelings will vary, depending upon how well you knew the co-worker, your personal beliefs about death and spirituality and the suddenness of the loss.

Emotionally, you may feel disoriented, distracted and sad or angry. These feelings can result in lack of focus on your work and mistakes in your performance. These reactions may become safety hazards, especially if you work in manufacturing or production with heavy equipment or machinery. These feelings may even affect your concentration as you drive to and from work.

Outside the possibility that you might create a dangerous environment for yourself and others, a sudden loss of a co-worker can impact your physical health. Sleep may seem elusive or you may feel constantly tired. You may lose your appetite or eat without thinking. Sleep and eating pattern changes can alter how you feel, and these changes are challenging for those individuals who already suffer from high-blood pressure, diabetes or other health problems.

Prolonged grief can lead to depression and/or inappropriate anger. Both feelings can affect your health as well, leading to heart disease, obesity or eating disorders and other diseases as your feelings begin to affect your immune system.

Losing yourself in your work is not an answer, as repressed feelings also affect your physical health. You can risk entering a state of physical and mental exhaustion that could cause neurological problems. Self-medication is a popular release from these feelings, but that plan of action may lead to drug or alcohol addiction.

What can you do to relieve these emotional and physical symptoms? First, realize that grieving takes time, and it helps to recognize the symptoms of the grieving process. You can reach out to other co-workers so that you all can share feelings. They may be experiencing the same symptoms as you, and mutual support can provide relief.

If it hasn’t been offered, inquire about Employee Assistance Programs. These programs often utilize counselors who can offer a supportive environment for the office. These same counselors often can help employees with gestures to the co-worker’s family in their time of grief. And, they can help arrange schedules so that employees can attend a visitation or funeral if the family allows, or plan a memorial for co-workers to attend if desired.

Finally, learn about H.A.L.T., a tool that many addicts adopt to avoid using again. When you never get too “Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired,” you can learn to cope with grief and loss with on much healthier emotion and physical terms.

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How to Select an Executor

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

An executor is a person who represents you after your death. You nominate this person to serve as your executor in your will, and this person is designated specifically to settle your estate. In sum, this person will act in your behalf as if you were still alive. A probate court has final approval on your choice, but the court generally will confirm your nomination unless compelling reasons exist to refuse your choice.

The executor whom you nominate must be willing to:

  • Locate and probate your will.
  • Inventory, collect and sell your assets when and if necessary.
  • Pay legitimate creditor claims from a designated account specifically created for that purpose.
  • Pay any taxes owed by your estate.
  • Distribute any remaining assets to your beneficiaries.

For the tasks listed above, your executor is entitled to a fee from your estate for services rendered. In many cases, a close friend or family member who has been nominated as the executor may waive the fee. This fee, however, will help mitigate any resentments for the amount of time needed to complete complex wills. Executors often endure anywhere from nine months to several years filled with will contests or tax problems.

Since your executor acts in a fiduciary capacity, he or she must exercise a high degree of caution and care at all times. In most cases, your executor will act only under court supervision, and will be subject to its control and approval. Some executors will welcome the guidance and support provided by the court.

Some states require executors to post a bond, which is later paid back to the executor from the estate (though you may be able to waive this requirement through a will provision).

With all the responsibilities listed above, you might wonder how you can find a person who would want to commit to those duties. You also might wonder how you can trust anyone to carry out your will. With these questions in mind, you might realize that your choice of an executor is very important.

Ideally, you want a person you can trust, who has a close relationship with your family and who has some understanding of tax laws and a sense of business acumen. Spouses often are named, as well as older children, siblings or parents. Outside your circle of immediate family, you might choose a friend, an attorney or a bank or trust officer. You also can name multiple executors to oversee different aspects of your will.

Sometimes, with a complex will, it might be best to choose a professional to act as your executor. In other cases, a combination of a family member and a professional might work. The family member might have a personal interest in assuring the correct settlement of your estate and the well-being of your beneficiaries. Of course, many family members might try to create a complex situation simply to aggravate other family members. In this case, it’s wise to have a professional on board to help expedite matters and to avoid family battles.

Additionally, a professional executor is unlikely to refuse to serve or to resign, as they will expect a fee for handling your affairs. When you think that the executor needs to prepare and file tax returns, obtain appraisals and make accurate accounts, you may realize that none of your family members will be capable of handling these matters. Also, it will be easier for a court to hold a professional executor financially responsible for mismanagement than it would a nonprofessional. The only thing you would lose from choosing a professional is a ‘personal touch’ to your last wishes. Sometimes, that personal touch is best expressed through letters left behind to your loved ones.

Finally, you must be aware of state laws when nominating an executor. In most states, the executor must be an adult U.S. citizen and not a convicted felon. If you decide to neglect a will or if you don’t nominate an executor or if your executor refuses or fails to serve, the probate court will step in. A probate court can appoint an administrator – a person who performs many of the same functions as an executor but with much less power and authority – and you will sacrifice any say about your final wishes.

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How to Physically Care for a Dying Loved One

Monday, December 15th, 2008

If your loved one is dying, there are many things you can do to help ease their physical transition from life to death. One option is to hire a caregiver who will provide help for you and your loved one. And, yes, you can take an active role in providing care for your loved one during the final days, no matter where that loved one spends those last days.

  • Home Care: Some people prefer to die at home, surrounded by familiarity. You can take on the role of the caregiver, but you may find the tasks overwhelming. If you can hire a home service to help you, you may find that you can spend more quality time with your loved one.
  • Hospice: Hospice care can be applied in a variety of settings, but the majority of this care occurs in the home in the United States.
  • Hospital: Some dying patients might prefer to die in a hospital, surrounded by professional help. Many hospitals encourage loved ones to be present and to help care for their loved one.
  • Nursing Home: This is an option for patients who might need more advanced care. Some patients also may choose this option to remove the burden of care from families. But, you can attend to your loved one here, and some nursing homes allow hospice workers to help as well.

No matter the setting, it helps to recognize some physical symptoms that the dying loved one may experience immediately prior to death. Although you cannot prolong life with counteractions, you can make your loved one more comfortable. The symptoms and counteractions listed below usually occur after the loved one has lost the ability to get out of bed.

  • Confusion and agitation: Speak in short phrases and in simple words. You might repeat your name and the names of people in the room and remind your loved one of the date and time. There’s no need to shout your words, unless the loved one is hard of hearing. In fact, your loved one’s hearing may become heightened during the final days and it is the last sense to leave, so be aware that – even if you talk in whispers from across the room – your loved one may hear you.
  • Restlessness and agitation: Create a quiet and peaceful atmosphere with music and dim light. Try to keep the number of people in the room at a minimum.
  • No longer hungry or thirsty: Resist your desire to force your loved one to eat or drink, but have a glass of water on hand with a straw if your loved one desires a drink. In some cases, ice chips may be necessary if the loved one cannot keep food or liquids down or if he or she can no longer swallow. Finally, keep your loved one’s lips moist with a sponge or soft cloth. Use lip balm or some other protection to protect lips from chapping.
  • Labored breathing: Unless the patient complains of pain, keep the head of the bed raised and re-position your loved one every few hours. As a patient, that loved one may have medications that can help with breathing difficulties. The doctor or caregiver will help in that situation. Sometimes, fresh air will help the situation. Open a window if possible or use a fan to circulate air in the room. Also, an application of oxygen often can help with labored breathing.
  • Pauses in breathing: While asleep or awake, your loved one may miss a beat or two as they breathe. These breathing patterns also may change in depth of breathe. Usually, your loved one isn’t aware of these changes, as they are natural in the body’s progress toward death. Known as Cheyne-Stokes respirations, this type of breathing usually is seen in comatose individuals who have diseased nervous centers of respiration, or who are close to death.
  • Rattled breathing: This noise, often called “the death rattle,” is the result of fluids building up in the lungs or airways. This congestion may or may not continue, as your loved one may or may not live long enough for the fluid to dry up as the body becomes more dehydrated. Once again, medications such as atropine and scopolamine can help ease or control the congestion if your loved one feels uncomfortable.
  • Incontinence: As muscles begin to relax, your loved one may lose control of urine and bowels. If incontinence becomes a major problem, the patient’s doctor may use a catheter to help keep your loved one dry. Otherwise, check often to maintain that dryness and comfort and use incontinence pads and diapers to help keep your loved one dry and comfortable.
  • Vision reduced or blurry: Dim the lights and stand or sit where your loved one can best see you.
  • Reduced warmth in extremities: As death approaches, your loved one’s extremities will react to a reduction in circulation. Arms and legs may swell, become cool to the touch, and may begin to appear blue. Use blankets or a sheet to help keep your loved one warm. The bluish cast, called “mottling,” is one of the clearest signs that death is approaching. Eventually, this coloration will spread to earlobes and lips.
  • A reversal of symptoms: If your loved one seems to gain energy and coherence, it is a signal to gather together loved ones to say goodbye. This symptom may last days or mere hours, and it may be confusing for family members. This final surge of energy usually is not a true reversal of death to life…it’s often represents a normal symptom of the last stage of dying.

Remember that, even in a coma, your loved one may hear you. Continue talking in a calm and soothing tone and reassure your loved one that you will stay with him or her. If your loved one hasn’t become sensitive to touch, you can stroke his or her hands, feet or hair to reassure that person that you are nearby. At the same time that you express your love and reassurance, it is just as proper to tell your loved one that it is all right to let go.

Finally, some people might prefer to die alone or they may not want family present. Although you may feel slighted by this request, remember that it is that person’s journey from life to death – not yours. Although your loss will be extremely difficult, you can find comfort in knowing that you provided the very best of care and abided by your loved one’s wishes during that person’s final days.

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Four Common Incapacity Documents

Thursday, December 11th, 2008

No matter your age, at any time you may become mentally or physically incapacitated through an accident or sickness. Age, however, does play a role in incapacity, as does alcohol or drug abuse. If you or a family member becomes incapacitated, who would handle financial matters, answer questions about health, or conduct normal or everyday affairs?

One way to take care of a case of incapacity is to prepare for the possibility in advance. If you can designate one or more individuals to act in your behalf if you become incapacitated, you can be assured that they will follow your wishes. Otherwise, a court may appoint a guardian for you upon request of a friend or relative. But, what type of documents do you need to protect your wishes if you become incapacitated?

The following list may help you wade through the list of common incapacity documents. In all cases, you might want to talk with an attorney to rest assured that you wishes will be followed even if you move across state lines or to another country.

  1. Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (DPAHC) or Health-Care Proxy: A durable power of attorney for health care (known as a health-care proxy in some states) allows you to appoint a representative to make medical decisions for you. You decide how much power your representative will have. This option is flexible, as it allows your representative to act on your behalf and make medical decisions based upon current circumstances. But, it’s not practical in an emergency, as your representative may not be available to act in your behalf. And, this representation may not be permitted in some states.
  2. Living Will: A living will allows you to approve or decline certain types of medical care, even if you die as a result of your choice. However, in most states, living wills take effect only under certain circumstances, such as terminal injury or illness. Generally, one can be used only to decline
    medical treatment that “serves only to postpone the moment of death.” In states that do not allow living wills, you may have one to serve as an expression of your wishes. A living will also allows your health-care proxy to carry out your wishes when possible.
  3. DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Order: A ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order (DNR) is a doctor’s order that tells all other medical personnel not to perform CPR if you go into cardiac arrest. There are two types of DNRs. One is effective only while you are hospitalized. The other is used while you are outside the hospital. In some states, the DNR is effective during an emergency. Use an ID bracelet, MedicAlert necklace or wallet cards so emergency personnel will know your wishes. In some states, DNR orders are allowed only for hospitalized patients, or the DNR is used to decline CPR in case of cardiac or respiratory arrest.
  4. Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA): If you don’t prepare someone to look after your financial affairs when you can’t, your property may be wasted, abused, or lost. A durable power of attorney (DPOA) allows you to authorize someone else to act on your behalf at very little cost and to avoid court intervention should you become incapacitated. There are two types of DPOAs: you can appoint a standby DPOA, a person who is effective immediately, and a “springing” DPOA, or a person or individuals who cannot take over your affairs until you have become incapacitated. A DPOA
    should be fairly simple and inexpensive tool to implement, and it ends at your death. A springing DPOA is not permitted in some states, so you’ll want to check with an attorney.

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How to Reduce Funeral Costs

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

One way to avoid expensive funerals is to stay alive forever. If you’re human, however, it seems that this option isn’t a reliable one. If you pre-plan your funeral, then, you may learn that funeral costs often fall immediately behind homes and automobiles as the third most expensive item that most American families will make during a lifetime. But, the cost of most funerals are going down in response to the desire for less expensive funerals. In fact, you may not need a funeral home for that funeral.

Funerals often are held from public community centers, a church or a VFW Hall. The ability to hold a funeral someplace other than a funeral home can significantly reduce the average cost of a funeral. But, you may still need to hire a funeral director. Many funeral directors now operate independently in efforts to reduce costs. In some jurisdictions, a licensed funeral director is required for the finalizing of paperwork and to be present at a burial.

The average cost of a traditional funeral currently runs about $7,500. How can you reduce this cost, and how much will you save? Here are a few tips:

  1. Shop around: The cost of a funeral will vary, depending upon where you live. Shop around, especially if you’re pre-panning your funeral, to compare costs. A casket sells for the same price wholesale nationwide, but you may find that same casket costs thousands more in Washington DC than it does in LaGrange, Kentucky. This is your bargaining chip, if you prefer a casket, to reduce the cost by thousands of dollars. You can use Consumer Reports’ benchmark price list as a guide.
  2. Use a local chain funeral home: Ask if the funeral home is independent, part of a local chain, or part of a national chain. Often, the only way you’ll know is to ask. Consumer Reports’ price survey found that local chains generally offered the best value, a choice that often saves hundreds of dollars.
  3. Cremation: The cost of cremation is significantly less than the cost of a traditional burial. You can avoid a casket, and many states allow simple containers for ashes rather than expensive urn models. This option alone could save up to $5,000 or more on that $7,000 funeral. Although this site may offer some slightly biased information (they sell urns), you might find some great ideas on how to cut costs on anything from urns to burial plots (you actually don’t need one if you’re cremated).
  4. Avoid embalming when possible: According to the Federal Trade Commission, funeral homes cannot charge you for embalming if you did not choose a funeral arrangement that required it (such as cremation) or if state law didn’t require it. Knowledge is power – if you don’t want to pay for that expense, be forewarned and check state laws regarding this procedure. You can save hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars by forgoing embalming and cosmetology (try a closed casket).
  5. Ask for a green funeral: Many funeral homes now offer a ‘green’ funeral option that eliminates embalming, provides a less expensive casket or that offers to scatter ashes. Learn more about your options from this story about a couple seeking a green funeral in Chicago.
  6. Leave out the frills: When you pre-plan your funeral, you can stop Aunt Meg from embarrassing you after death with the release of dozens of doves or hundreds of balloons. The cost of those frills can run into hundreds or thousands of dollars, money best spent elsewhere.
  7. Don’t buy into the ‘package’ plan: According to the Funeral Rule set by the Federal Trade Commission, a funeral provider cannot refuse you service if you only buy one thing from them, and they can’t offer you one item only on the condition that you buy another – so if someone tries to convince you otherwise, they’re in violation of the Funeral Rule. You can save hundreds or thousands of dollars if you pick and choose funeral services from various sources.
  8. Donate your body to science: When you donate your body to medical science, it is the best way to avoid costly funerals. Usually the only costs incurred by this method are transportation costs, usually a couple hundred dollars – and, sometimes the facility you choose to donate to will cover these costs. And in most cases, if specifically requested, cremated remains can be returned to the family once the research has been completed. Some facilities offer money to help defray costs for memorial services, too.

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