Archive for March, 2009

Hospice Care, Funerals and Cemeteries on Twitter

Monday, March 30th, 2009

Do you use Twitter? If not, you probably wonder what the Twitter fuss is all about. If you’re using Twitter, you may think that those who don’t use it just don’t “get it.” Whether or not you use Twitter, you might be surprised to learn that this social media tool has penetrated the death care industry. And, unlike the morbid specters you think you might encounter, these folks are – well – they’re alive and ordinary, with hobbies, families and stories to tell.

We let our fingers go walking through Twellow, the Twitter “Yellow Pages” to discover death care industry folks who are using Twitter. While the numbers weren’t astronomical, we don’t doubt that these figures may change as more death care businesses realize this social media tool’s commercial potential. We only chose a few links from Twellow’s search results to provide you with a taste of what you can encounter on Twitter.

The list below is categorized under the search word we used to find these links, and the links are arranged alphabetically under those categories. This method assures our readers that we do not favor one resource over another; however, we did skip over business-to-business accounts to offer Twitter users who focus on non-industry readers.

Hospice

  1. ctsinclair: Hospice & Palliative Medicine Doctor in Kansas City. Co-editor of Pallimed, a hospice and palliative medicine blog.
  2. hvto: This is Robin Watts, founder of first hospice volunteer training online course. Learn more at Hospice Volunteer Training.
  3. MyCareManager: Edward L. De La Loza is a psychotherapist and geriatric care manager. His interests include hospice, aging and eldercare among other things. His Web site is My Family Care Manager.
  4. SanDiegoHospice: San Diego Hospice and The Institute for Palliative Medicine is a “non-profit leader in the relief of pain and suffering.” Learn more at their Web site.
  5. StAnnsHospice: This user’s name is Catherine Williams, and she is the Director of Fundraising and Communications for St Ann’s Hospice in Manchester, UK.

Funeral

  1. buryorburn: Scott Gilligan is the “Funeral Maverick,” fighting big business death. He mainly posts about his blog entries at his Web site.
  2. funeralogues: Here’s an offbeat Twitter find: One woman off-Broadway show that is a darkly comedic look at the inside of funeral homes, funeral rituals and one woman’s personal obsession with death. Visit the official Web site.
  3. funeralplanner: Funeral planning and resource guide. The Web site is called the Funeral Planning Guide.
  4. funeralqueen: This is Muneerah Warner, funeral director of Warner Funeral Home and Publisher of Funerals Today Magazine, a new publication for individuals interested in funerals and an inside look at the funeral industry
  5. Otrib: Free obituary and funeral planning help and grief support forums and chat rooms at their Web site.

Cemetery and Cemeteries

  1. cemeteryminda: Minda Powers-Douglas is a writer who digs cemeteries (”not literally”). She edits Epitaphs Magazine (The Cemetery Club is Epitaph Magazine’s online venue) and teaches workshops.
  2. CemeterySpot: Hal Stevens is an author of books about end-of-life issues and owner of Web sites that provide free online memorials and free buy/sell cemetery plot services. His main site is named, aptly, Cemetry Spot.
  3. JewishGYrabbit: Schelly Dardashti is part of an international team that writes about Jewish cemeteries, news, burial, mourning, symbols and more at the Jewish Graveyard Rabbit.
  4. RivCem: The historic Riverside Cemetery Conservancy goes online to help “preserve the past for the future.”
  5. southerngraves: ‘S. Lincecum’ is an amateur historian, avid reader, genealogist and family historian, lover of cemeteries, and scrapbooker with a Web site to prove cemetery interests.

Go ahead and give Twellow a whirl. However, if you try “green funeral,” “cremations,” “body donation” or “grief management” you won’t find one tweet (an entry made by a person who uses Twitter). But, if you’re patient for a week or so, you may discover that a business or two will fill those niches.

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Posted in Cemeteries, Death & Dying, Hospice | 1 Comment »

Downsizing the Traditional Funeral

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

People expect the liquor industry, films and other forms of ‘entertainment’ to do well during a recession. These businesses offer individuals a way to escape reality, even if it’s for just an hour or two. But, who knew that the funeral industry would receive attention during this economic turmoil? A brief look through recent news articles brings some interesting perspectives to this death care field.

Some articles listed below point to the fact that funeral homes are feeling the pinch as much as anyone during this recession. So, the focus seems to be about people choosing cremation over traditional burials, as cremation seems to be the less expensive option for funerals. But, as with any commodity, will the law of supply and demand begin to affect cremation costs?

The answer might lie in location (some places are more expensive than others to conduct funeral services) and in funeral options (will you bury the ashes or take them home?). Also, funeral homes need to make a profit, too, so if more people are turning to cremations, expect more options to be available to help that funeral bill escalate. On the other hand, look for some funeral homes to provide sales and incentives to bring business in during this recession.

The following articles all deal with recent economic woes and the funeral industry. The articles are arranged in alphabetical order to show that we do not favor one article over another:

  • A Real Kick in the Ash: This article, out of New York, provides current costs at the Green-Wood Cemetery: “A no-frills cremation will set you back about $400, or less than your economic-stimulus check…Meanwhile, a low-end crypt will typically run a family about $8,500, and a plot of land to bury two people – double-decker style – will set you back about $5,000.”
  • Another Sign Of The Recession — Cremation On The Rise: This article, which covers the funeral industry as a whole, points to gravesites as the culprit behind funeral costs, not caskets. “Sheri Richardson Stahl, who runs Island Funeral Home in Beaufort, S.C., said there are no public graveyards in the Hilton Head area, so plots at the nearest semi-private cemetery start at $2500 and ‘can easily reach $10,000.’”
  • Business is Cooking at Local Crematories. Thank the Recession: “In the St. Louis area the average burial cost ranges between $8,000 to $10,000, while the cremation fee, which includes transporting the body, the urn and a copy of the death certificate, hovers between $1,000 and $1,200.”
  • Funeral business is not immune to recession: Funeral industry profit has dropped from nine percent at the beginning of this decade to four percent, according to Peter Stefan, owner of Graham, Putnam, & Mahoney Funeral Parlors in Massechusetts. “A cremation can cost $2,500, said Stefan, while an average funeral will run $6,000, not counting cemetery rates.” On the other hand, “Bill Duckett, who manages funeral homes in Sudbury and Framingham…declined to connect the economic recession with an increased interest in cremations, which had been on the rise before the economy tanked last fall.”
  • Funeral costs not recession proof: Cremation versus traditional funerals in Spokane, Washington: “An individual cremation, you’re looking at less than $1,000, and with the average full body burial with cemetery property you’re looking at $8,000 to $9,000.”
  • Funeral industry feeling pinch of recession: If you’re looking for a woman who understands the cost of death yet who also believes in celebrating a life lived, look no further than Wiggen & Sons located in Seattle’s Ballard neighborhood. Carol Sauers, who represents that funeral home, “knows not everyone can afford full-service plans. Occasionally, she encourages money-conscious clients to consider a home memorial,” which costs little for the family.
  • Hansen: The business of death turns to discounts: The Merle Hay Funeral Home and the Sunset Funeral Chapel on Fleur Drive in Des Moines, Iowa, is offering 50 percent discounts on all his merchandise during these trying times. “I have a lot of inventory,” owner Blair Overton says. “Taking a little off now helps the customer and it helps me.”
  • Recession-Friendly Rites: This article, also generated out of New York, quotes the Maloney Funeral Homes: “The typical bill for a burial ranges from $8,000 to $12,000…Cremation costs between $4,000 and $8,000. The actual process costs about $400, which is added to the cost of an urn, a service and possibly a niche or burial plot for the ashes.”

Although it seems that funeral homes are feeling the pinch, at Nassau Community College in New York, inquiries about their mortuary science program are up fifteen percent in recent months, and enrollment for last fall’s class was nearly double the year before. According to this article in Newsday:

At the American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Education, a private program in Manhattan, enrollment has jumped to 270 students for the spring semester, compared with 200 a year ago. The school attributes the rise to the economic downturn and the addition of an online program.

Maybe these students are forward-thinking entrepreneurs who see a silver lining for traditional funerals in the future?

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Posted in Alternatives, Death Care News, Funeral Arrangements | No Comments »

Religion, Death and Dying

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

The Los Angeles Times recently ran an article that talked about how religious belief drives some patients to fight for life, while others suffer more at the end of life because of their religion. The main character in this article is Holly Prigerson, director of the Center for Psycho-oncology and Palliative Care Research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston and the study’s senior author. The entire article is summed up in the final paragraph from that piece:

In a study published last week in the Archives of Internal Medicine, Prigerson and her colleagues found that patients who discussed their wishes for end-of-life care ahead of time accrued $1,876 in medical expenses in their final week of life compared with $2,917 for patients who didn’t. They were also less likely to be in physical distress, less likely to die in a hospital and more likely to be getting outpatient hospice care. “One-third of the Medicare budget goes to the last year of life, and 80% is for the last month,” Prigerson said. “Most of that is being on a ventilator or from an ICU stay.”

Religious beliefs have come more into focus as a result of this study, which shows that faith in a higher power often can lead to more aggressive treatment than is medically warranted. This problem alone can lead to further medical problems and, without a doubt, more expenses. Such treatments didn’t improve a person’s long-term chances, however.

The solution to this problem? Although the article points to doctors who need to talk with their patients to learn their religious views and motivations, another answer is to plan well in advance for death and dying. Some examples to help you along with this effort include:

  1. If you are in a coma or some other debilitating situation, your family may decide to keep you on life support when your wish is totally opposite. If you plan ahead with incapacity documents, your family has no choice but to follow your wishes.
  2. You may not agree with “buying time” with more aggressive treatment, but your loved ones insist. If you talk with them well ahead of time about your wishes, you can resolve issues while you have plenty of time to heal emotional wounds.
  3. You might insist that “buying time” is your priority, even if you suffer. In this case, it is good to let your doctor in on your plans for suffering so he or she can choose the best staff to help you through this end-of-life trial.

By developing a plan for your death, this work can help you accept death as a part of life. The article states that accepting death “can provide an opportunity to get one’s religious affairs in order and make the most of remaining time with family and friends” rather than dealing with the stress of making decisions during a time when you might be in pain, under medication or – worse – unable to make rational choices.

If you plan now for your death care, you could save money that you or your family might have spent prolonging your life when your prognosis is poor. This money, if you have a will, can benefit someone who has a long life ahead. Additionally, by planning your death care now, you can avoid an unsettling end-of-life battle between you and your loved ones, no matter your religious beliefs.

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Posted in Death & Dying | No Comments »

Three Killer Diseases Designed for Palliative Care

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Today’s top killer diseases in the United States include heart disease, cancer and stroke. Men and women both are susceptible to these diseases, which cover such ailments as coronary artery disease, heart failure, heart rhythm disorders, all types of cancer and ischemic and hemorrhagic strokes. These diseases, once developed, often are fatal.

But, not everyone who develops heart disease or cancer or who suffers a stroke die immediately. Often, these victims need help, and palliative care, or hospice care, is one route to take for this help. Here are a few reasons for heart disease, cancer and stroke patients to choose hospice services:

Heart Disease: Patients who suffer heart disease often suffer through cycles of treatment. They experience extreme pain, get treated, go home and then experience extreme pain again. Sometimes, a little help on the home front can increase the time between extreme episodes. However, patients would need to meet certain criteria for hospice care, including the prognosis of six months or less left to live.

Cancer: When cancer treatment no longer is viable or a cancer patient cannot tolerate treatment, then hospice care becomes appropriate. Opting for palliative care does not mean that the cancer patient is giving up. Instead, the patient is opting for an alternative to learning how manage symptoms and to improve quality of life while living with this disease.

Stroke: The severity of the effects of a stroke will help determine if a patient needs hospice care. The criteria for hospice care includes a coma, persistent vegetative state, and/or severely reduced level of consciousness and abnormal muscle contractions. Usually, the patient’s prognosis after the first three days following a stroke will determine the need for palliative care.

Remember that Medicare and many private insurance plans won’t cover hospice care and hospital admissions for the same diagnosis at the same time in any disease. With that said, when a patient has exhausted all resources and the end of life seems imminent, hospice services can make the end-of-life transition more comfortable for patients and their loved ones.

Hospice care workers who visit the home to care for heart disease, cancer and stroke victims patients can:

  • Help with pain and symptom management.
  • Help to avoid hospital admissions.
  • Help to gain access to community resources and assist with emotional and spiritual needs.
  • Can help with death care management.

These services can help family members spend more time with the patient as the hospice worker takes on the responsibilities of keeping the patient comfortable and at ease. If you’re interested in using hospice care, you can find many resources here .

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Online Asset Management before Death

Monday, March 16th, 2009

What happens to Web assets when you die?

Many topics about death care cover tangible items such as hospice, health, burials and funerals. And, almost everyone concerned with a death also is concerned with wills and asset management. Tangible assets include homes, property and other things you can touch and see. But, what happens to a person’s Web assets when they die?The BBC touched on this subject in 2004, Forbes in 2006, and TechRadar picked it up in 2008. Another blogger touched on the subject of email last year as well. They all ask the questions, ”What happens to all this Web stuff when you die?”

If you purchased domain names, Web hosting and other online “properties” such as memberships, then you have assets that may be worth money. If you own an online business, or if you have integrated an online presence with a bricks-and-mortar business, then you should take these assets into account. Don’t leave a mess for your loved ones, especially if your online information is private or worth some cash.

Things change over time, and these changes include laws that pertain to copyright, online information and access to that information if you do not own it. So, we’ve compiled a list that we hope will remain pertinent for a few years. If you own online assets and you follow the tips listed below, then your successors might appreciate you even more after death. Even better, this list might help you organize your life for better efficiency now:

  • The BBC article listed three Websites that might have helped folks with death care management back in 2004. However, only one of those three Web sites mentioned in that article remain viable today. If you want to use online mediums to account for your Web presence, you might also include actual paperwork in a will in case that Web site dies and takes your information with it.
  • The key word above is “will.” If you don’t have a will, make one now. And, if your online assets change over time, then you can either change your will or add a codicil, or supplement, to that will.
  • Name an executor and make sure that person has total access to your death documents, including online access (user names and passwords), once you die. Some sites may remain online forever until they are deleted. Other sites may shut down the site as soon as a monthly or weekly payment has not been met. It’s important to point to those latter sites so the executor can pay to attend to them immediately upon your death.
  • Pay attention to terms of service (TOS) for each site, hosting service or memberhips, as they may change. Additionally, you may learn that, even though your executor has your information, it may be illegal for that person to enter your site. When possible, print out the TOS and attach your user name and password to that TOS along with any special instructions. You can alter these items at any time, as long as you include them with your will and other death care documents.
  • Clean up your life…if you don’t want certain emails or documents read after your death, then why are you holding on to them? If it’s a matter of legal liability, then print them out, back them up on a disk, and forward them to an email address that will hold personal or sensitive items.
  • Social media sites, for all intents and purposes, are you – and few people will want those sites once you’re gone (unless you’re famous). With that said, if you have photographs, videos or other personal assets on those sites, then think about using other sites to hold that information. Then, your assets will be organized for easier handling once you’re gone.
  • You also can create a ‘plan of action’ for your social media sites if you die. In some cases, those sites contain many people you’d want to notify about your death. If legally possible, your executor can manage this plan.
  • In many cases, hosting services will eliminate your account upon your death unless an executor notifies that hosting service and transfers your domain within a year. This time frame barely provides enough time for probate and a sale or transfer, but it must be done if that Web site or blog needs to be maintained as part of a business or other venture.
  • If you want your online ‘goods’ such as photos, content and more, to be sold or transferred upon your death, then you might pick a beneficiary who will benefit from that sale or transfer. If you own an online business, think about finding someone who can carry on that business after you die.
  • In keeping with “keeping your ducks in a row,” you might include information about traffic, online income and other pertinent information about your sites so that your sites will be ready for sale when you die. You can learn more about what people want when they purchase a site at Sitepoint.com.
  • Finally, read the other articles mentioned above. Other than the viability of Web sites in those articles, the information is valuable. Some information is contradictory between articles, so that should give you a heads up that information does change over time. Use that information, this list and your knowledge and intuition to lead you down the path that’s right for you and your loved ones.

You may learn that your online assets are worth more than your tangible assets with this exercise. If so, seek the advice of a knowledgeable attorney to guide you through a legacy process. While professional advice may cost you some money on the front end, the money your successors may save (or make) could be worth your efforts.

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Posted in Death Care News, Estate Planning, Other Legal Matters, Wills & Estate Planning | 1 Comment »

The Pros and Cons of Green Funerals

Thursday, March 12th, 2009
Green Funeral or Traditional?

Green Funeral or Traditional?

“When we were back to our origins, we just fell down somewhere and were taken care of by animals, and we were spread around, and then we became soil again, and that was very natural.” ~ Susanne Wiigh-Masak

My brother, who is into an extreme green lifestyle, reminds his family occasionally how he’d like to die. He wants to trip into the great beyond while traipsing in the woods. Then, he wants no one to find him for a good three months or more. He figures that, by that time, the scavengers would have consumed his body and nothing will be left but bones. That, my friends, is the extreme in green death. Primal even.

While green deaths don’t come along too often, you probably have heard about green funerals. Green funerals have not become a common tradition, but enough interest has been generated in this type of burial that some funeral homes provide this option for their customers. Is this option for you?

A green funeral basically avoids all the chemicals and accouterments that belong to traditional funerals. You would avoid embalming, steel coffins, costly vaults and even headstones. Burial is in a biodegradable box or a shroud and no glues, metals or lacquers are used. Fernwood Funeral Home allows customers to mark loved ones’ graves with indigenous rocks, wildflowers, trees and shrubs. Since the graves blend in with the surroundings, each grave is set with a computer chip, archived in a computer system and on paper, and tracked via GPS device if loved ones want to return to pay respects.

Another option for green funerals is cremation, as many people now believe that a burial is a waste of land space. They may ask for their ashes to be scattered or even buried in the back yard. Sometimes, family members inherit their loved ones’ ashes, and those old bones often are forgotten as the family moves on. Sometimes I wonder how many people have left Aunt Sally’s “cremations” in the attic, or have stored them there as they ponder what to do with her.

Outside these petty issues, other larger problems exist that may hamper your desire for a green funeral:

  • Green funerals often are handled by family members, but in five states funeral directors are required to be involved in the funeral by law. Those states are Connecticut, Indiana, Louisiana, Nebraska and New York. This means that the funeral director must be paid and certain traditional burial customs might be enforced.
  • Embalming, or the avoidance of embalming, is an issue in some states. While embalming is not required in most states, some states, like Pennsylvania, require embalming if human remains are held for longer than 24 hours. Also, the body is required to be sealed in a container that will not let odors escape, or be refrigerated.
  • Cremation is an issue as well, especially if you learn that Maine crematories alone release about 20 pounds of mercury into the air each year, mostly from dental fillings that are vaporized. Mercury is a neurotoxin that can get into the food chain, but – at the same time – mercury is something that always stays in the environment, in one form or another.
  • On the other hand, more than 827,000 gallons of embalming fluid – made up mostly of formaldehyde, a suspected carcinogen – and 30-plus-million board feet of nonrenewable wood gets buried each year in the traditional funeral process.
  • Some states may restrict a green burial with a lack of places to bury a body that is not embalmed. Unless you are Jewish or Muslim (individuals who demand no embalming and a quick burial, but usually in graveyards set aside for their customs), you may learn that you don’t have a place to rest. This problem is changing, however. The Green Burial Council also has approved green burial cemeteries in seven states: New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota and Washington.

As you can see, the problems involved with a green burial can be intimidating. At the same time, a trend is emerging, and resources now are available that can help you to overcome hurdles you might face in the green burial process. One place you can visit for support and answers outside the Green Burial Council mentioned above includes Crossings. They can, along with other advocates, help you to avoid scams and to learn about laws that you must abide by as you reach for the green burial of your dreams.

And, don’t worry. The scavengers won’t get you. Even if they did, you wouldn’t know.

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Posted in Alternatives, Death & Dying, Funeral Arrangements, Plan Your Own, Traditions | 1 Comment »

Alternatives to Long-Term Care Insurance

Monday, March 9th, 2009

You may decide that long-term care insurance (LTCI), or insurance that provides for long-term care after you can no longer work, is not for you. After all, you may never use the insurance, it’s expensive and not everyone qualifies for the insurance. But, what are your other options to LTCI?

  • Your Savings: You always can use your personal savings to pay for long-term care. But, planning for this option takes time. First, estimate how much money you might need and start an appropriate savings plan now. If you should choose this option, you are creating what is known as a “self-insured” long-term care plan. There’s a good chance that you will underestimate the price of long-term care in the future, and there’s also a good chance that what you put aside each month will exceed what you’d pay for LTCI, this option may be the only chance for someone with a pre-existing condition. A pre-existing condition will disqualify you from obtaining LTCI.
  • Tap Medicaid: Medicaid is a government-sponsored program that pays for medical treatment. If you are in the “low-income” category, elderly, disabled or blind, you may be eligible for long-term care from Medicaid if you meet financial and medical requirements. In most states, Medicaid subsidizes care in nursing facilities and at home (for those who meet Medicaid guidelines for at-home care). Unfortunately, meeting Medicaid’s financial requirements is difficult. But, if you’ve gone the route of “self-insured” long-term care with your savings and you run out of money, you may be eligible for this option.
  • Cash Life Insurance: Familiarize yourself iwht the rules on life insurance policies and cash withdrawals. Many policies allow access to your cash value, but amounts may be limited. You also may be able to use part of the death benefit for medical expenses or for long-term care while you are alive. If you become terminally ill, you may also have the option to sell your policialy to a viatical settlement company so you can use that cash to pay for your care. You may receive from forty- to eighty-fiver percent of the policy’s face value from a viatical settlement.
  • Earn Your Keep in Your Own Home: If you own your home outright or have a lot of equity in your home, you could consider a reverse mortgage. A reverse mortgage can provide a lender with a lien (or mortgage) on your home, and you receive either a lump sum or prearranged monthly payments. You typically don’t have to repay the loan as long as you live in the home. However, if you move or if the house is sold, the loan must be repaid out of the proceeds of the sale. A reverse mortgage can be an easy source of cash, but it could also complicate matters if you plan on leaving your home to your heirs. Find out more about reverse mortgages from AARP.

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Posted in Hospice, Insurance Plans and Hospice Care, Wills & Estate Planning | 2 Comments »

Memorials to Veterans and How to Obtain One

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Monuments and lasting tributes to veterans did not occur until during and after the American Civil War. Before that time, most markers were made of wood with hand-carved inscriptions. Bodies of warriors, if they arrived back home, were buried in family plots. In some cases, veterans were interred in hospital plots or left in shallow graves where they were slain.

In 1865, at the end of the Civil War, more than 100,000 soldiers were buried in national cemeteries, and the government began to give serious consideration to methods on how to memorialize veterams. At that time, a seven-year debate arose over whether graves should be marked with marble stones or with galvanized iron markers coated with zinc. Marble won the debate in 1873, but veterans’ markers have evolved over the years.

Over the years, Union and Confederate soldiers were recognized, and the government began to recognize soldiers who served in both World Wars and in conflicts in Korea, Vietnam, Panama, Grenada, Lebanon and the Persian Gulf. Although marble markers won the original debate, granite was also used and then flat metal markers made from bronze. By 1945, the user of granite was discontinued because of cost, but use of the flat granite marker was approved for use in national cemeteries in Hawaii and Puerto Rico.

The headstone shown at left above is a veteran’s headstone for a soldier who served in the Navy, U.S. Coast Guard during the Vietnam conflict. Birth and death dates also are inscribed as well as the unit that the soldier belonged to. Additionally, in many cases, the state where the soldier was born is included. The round top mimics the original stone used for Union soldiers after the Civil War. Confederate stones authorized by Congress (beginning in 1906) had pointed tops.

The marker shown below is one that is common today, often used as a niche marker attached to an existing stone or used as a footstone. You can view many other current and historic markers at the Department of Veterans Affairs Web site.

Today, for families who cannot afford a headstone or marker, Public Law 110-157, signed on Dec. 26, 2007, allows the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to furnish a Government headstone or marker for the graves of eligible veterans who died on or after Nov. 1, 1990, regardless of whether the grave is already marked with a privately purchased headstone or marker. Under the previous law, when the grave was already marked, only veterans who died on or after Sept. 11, 2001 were eligible.

While government-issued markers and headstones are free, arrangements for placing those memorials in a private cemetery belong to the applicant. But, there is no change in eligibility for veterans in unmarked graves, regardless of the date of death, VA will furnish, at no charge to the applicant, a Government headstone or marker for the unmarked grave of any eligible veteran in any cemetery around the world. Learn about your eligibility and how to order a veteran’s marker or headstone at the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Images: Top right – Gravesites located in a very new section of Fort Logan National Cemetery; Middle – A veteran headstone; Bottom – a veteran marker.

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Posted in About Tombstones, Cemeteries, Funeral Arrangements | No Comments »

Superstitions about Death and Dying

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

Fortune CookieDid you shiver when you saw the image at left? You may know, in your head, that the odds of dying on Tuesday are slim to none (we hope!), but superstitions are hard to shake sometimes. A superstition usually is a belief or notion that is not based upon reason or knowledge. Since death is the “great unknown,” death, dying and funerals became prime candidates for superstitious beliefs, even among educated people. Many superstitions, if believed across a wide range of population for a period of time, may become rituals.

The following superstitions, just a handful of hundreds of irrational beliefs about death and dying, have fallen by the wayside in many cases, but you might recognize a few that people still abide by today. For instance, do you know why you wear black to funerals? You’re simply following a tradition based upon an old superstition. Read on to learn more…

  • Pall bearers once wore gloves to handle caskets, as it was believed that the spirit of the deceased could enter the pall bearers’ bodies through their hands.
  • Some people grasp a button on their clothing when passing a hearse, as it is believed that the button will help that person stay “connected” to life rather than death.
  • The tradition of wearing black during a funeral began when it was firmly believed that the color black makes the living less visible to the spirit world.
  • On the other hand, if a person is buried in black, that person will return to haunt the family.
  • A bird that flies into the window of a house and dies is a horrible omen. This means some family member of that household soon will die. At one time, people believed that birds held human spirits.
  • Mirrors were thought to hold great power, so covering them with black crepe or velvet or turning the mirror toward the wall became habit for those who believed that the spirit of the deceased could enter the mirror and then enter the body of the next person to look into that mirror.
  • Family members and friends were encouraged to touch or kiss a corpse. It was (and still is) believed in many regions that touching the corpse prevents a person from dreaming or obsessing about the deceased. This touch often does help the living realize that a loved one is gone.
  • Many families would stop a clock in the house to indicate the passing of a loved one. After the funeral, the clock would be re-started to indicate a new phase in that family’s life.
  • Some people still hold their breath when passing a cemetery. The reason? To avoid breathing in the spirits of those buried at that cemetery.
  • Although the firing of guns at military funerals is seen as a sign of respect, this tradition may have its roots in the superstition that the ringing bells and shooting guns works to scare away other ghosts at the cemetery.

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Posted in Cemeteries, Death & Dying, Death Practices, Funeral Arrangements, History of Funerals, Traditions | 1 Comment »