Posts Tagged ‘Burial’

Burn the Trash, Bury the Treasure?

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

grave

I recently ran across several online documents produced by Orthodox Christians that objected to the practice of cremation. One, in particular, was written by Fr. John Touloumes and posted online in 2007. While is it ascertained in the beginning that the Orthodox Christian Church prohibits cremation, the document posted explains why.

The points from that document are as follows:

  • The document states that the practice of cremation is on the rise, partly due to the influence of Oriental religions and neo-paganism and buoyed by the erosion of the traditional beliefs among non-Orthodox Christians.
  • The Orthodox conviction that the Son of God was also truly Man and was raised in His whole human nature – body and soul – explains the Church’s traditional rejection of cremation, a practice which is diametrically opposed to the expectation of the resurrection of the dead in Christ.
  • Throughout church history and through the Resurrection, Jesus makes abundantly clear that the whole of our humanity – body as well as soul – has been called to salvation and eternal life.
  • The Church knows innumerable accounts of healing occurring upon being blessed with the relics of a saint. These men and women lived the life in Christ so fully that not only were their souls taken to heaven but their bodies retain the sanctity and healing power of the presence of the Holy Spirit.
  • The Church has unequivocally taught since Christ’s Crucifixion that the proper way to treat the dead is a reverent burial of the body in the context of a proper Church funeral and prayers for those who have fallen asleep in the Lord.

Finally, the article ends with this statement:

The Broad Picture Acceptance of cremation, therefore, would represent a radical departure from an established practice for which there seems to be no adequate reason to institute a change. The argument that cemeteries waste space does not stand in a nation as immense as our own, especially when the universality of modern transportation makes burial sites away from urban centers easily accessible. The sky-rocketing cost of burial is not seen at this time as a compelling reason to sanction cremation, for the Church does not ask that funerals be extravagant and costly, but that a certain amount of respect be maintained for the human body that was once the temple of a human soul. Thus the Church, due to a pastoral concern for the preservation of right beliefs and right practice within the Tradition of the Fathers, and out of a sense of reverence for its departed, must continue its opposition to this practice. Each Orthodox Christian should know that since cremation is prohibited by the canons [rules of the Church], those who insist on their own cremation will not be permitted a funeral in the Church. Naturally, an exception occurs when the Church is confronted with the case of some accident or natural disaster where cremation is necessary to guard the health of the living. In these special situations, the Church allows cremation of Orthodox people with prior episcopal permission and only by “economia.”

On the other hand, another religious leader questions embalming. While he states on the front end that “burial is far better, that cremation can send an unintended message that the body will not be resurrected, that it has Pagan origins, and that, by contrast, a body laid out in a casket is both a testimony of the law, and tangible evidence of the Gospel in the form of bodily resurrection,” embalming seems to shake this minister’s soul:

…one of my members (a former funeral director) threw me a curve-ball.

He argues that the modern method of embalming (which also has roots in Pagan Egypt) is itself a desecration. This is obviously something most of us never see. Blood is drained and thrown away. Parts of flesh even end up in the garbage. The body is filled with harsh chemicals. And all of this is to avoid the process of decomposition (Gen 3:19) that was spoken by God to Adam as part of the wages of sin.

His argument is that cremation – by avoiding the chemicals, the draining of fluids, the removal of flesh, and the mingling of the Christian’s flesh and blood with the garbage – is instead subjecting the body to a process that hastens the Gen 3:19 process, and is actually less of a desecration than embalming.

Be sure to read the comments posted below the second article as well as comments provided by readers who discuss cremation through any searches you might find when you look for “Orthodox Christian cremation.” You might discover that the arguments provided by the church may not seem popular, but they offer fodder for thought among readers. This is a good thing – for people to think about burial and what it means to their ideals and belief systems.

But, the church is not the only obstacle for those devout believers who also believe that cremation, when done with reverence, is an option for burial. In some cases, such as the one offered by Michigan funeral director, Thomas Lynch, in the book, Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love, the funeral director might prove an obstacle. In that book, Lynch is noted for his “subtle and not-so-subtle disdain for those who opt for anything other than the elaborate, body-on-display funeral he unabashedly glorifies.” Cremation as a caring choice, according to author Lisa Carlson, is “beyond his bias to understand.”

His statement, which has been echoed by several church leaders over the past few years, clearly marks cremation is something that only the ‘unclean’ would choose when he stated, “We burned the trash and buried the treasure.”

How do you feel about this stance?

Online Asset Management before Death

Monday, March 16th, 2009

What happens to Web assets when you die?

Many topics about death care cover tangible items such as hospice, health, burials and funerals. And, almost everyone concerned with a death also is concerned with wills and asset management. Tangible assets include homes, property and other things you can touch and see. But, what happens to a person’s Web assets when they die?The BBC touched on this subject in 2004, Forbes in 2006, and TechRadar picked it up in 2008. Another blogger touched on the subject of email last year as well. They all ask the questions, ”What happens to all this Web stuff when you die?”

If you purchased domain names, Web hosting and other online “properties” such as memberships, then you have assets that may be worth money. If you own an online business, or if you have integrated an online presence with a bricks-and-mortar business, then you should take these assets into account. Don’t leave a mess for your loved ones, especially if your online information is private or worth some cash.

Things change over time, and these changes include laws that pertain to copyright, online information and access to that information if you do not own it. So, we’ve compiled a list that we hope will remain pertinent for a few years. If you own online assets and you follow the tips listed below, then your successors might appreciate you even more after death. Even better, this list might help you organize your life for better efficiency now:

  • The BBC article listed three Websites that might have helped folks with death care management back in 2004. However, only one of those three Web sites mentioned in that article remain viable today. If you want to use online mediums to account for your Web presence, you might also include actual paperwork in a will in case that Web site dies and takes your information with it.
  • The key word above is “will.” If you don’t have a will, make one now. And, if your online assets change over time, then you can either change your will or add a codicil, or supplement, to that will.
  • Name an executor and make sure that person has total access to your death documents, including online access (user names and passwords), once you die. Some sites may remain online forever until they are deleted. Other sites may shut down the site as soon as a monthly or weekly payment has not been met. It’s important to point to those latter sites so the executor can pay to attend to them immediately upon your death.
  • Pay attention to terms of service (TOS) for each site, hosting service or memberhips, as they may change. Additionally, you may learn that, even though your executor has your information, it may be illegal for that person to enter your site. When possible, print out the TOS and attach your user name and password to that TOS along with any special instructions. You can alter these items at any time, as long as you include them with your will and other death care documents.
  • Clean up your life…if you don’t want certain emails or documents read after your death, then why are you holding on to them? If it’s a matter of legal liability, then print them out, back them up on a disk, and forward them to an email address that will hold personal or sensitive items.
  • Social media sites, for all intents and purposes, are you – and few people will want those sites once you’re gone (unless you’re famous). With that said, if you have photographs, videos or other personal assets on those sites, then think about using other sites to hold that information. Then, your assets will be organized for easier handling once you’re gone.
  • You also can create a ‘plan of action’ for your social media sites if you die. In some cases, those sites contain many people you’d want to notify about your death. If legally possible, your executor can manage this plan.
  • In many cases, hosting services will eliminate your account upon your death unless an executor notifies that hosting service and transfers your domain within a year. This time frame barely provides enough time for probate and a sale or transfer, but it must be done if that Web site or blog needs to be maintained as part of a business or other venture.
  • If you want your online ‘goods’ such as photos, content and more, to be sold or transferred upon your death, then you might pick a beneficiary who will benefit from that sale or transfer. If you own an online business, think about finding someone who can carry on that business after you die.
  • In keeping with “keeping your ducks in a row,” you might include information about traffic, online income and other pertinent information about your sites so that your sites will be ready for sale when you die. You can learn more about what people want when they purchase a site at Sitepoint.com.
  • Finally, read the other articles mentioned above. Other than the viability of Web sites in those articles, the information is valuable. Some information is contradictory between articles, so that should give you a heads up that information does change over time. Use that information, this list and your knowledge and intuition to lead you down the path that’s right for you and your loved ones.

You may learn that your online assets are worth more than your tangible assets with this exercise. If so, seek the advice of a knowledgeable attorney to guide you through a legacy process. While professional advice may cost you some money on the front end, the money your successors may save (or make) could be worth your efforts.

Ten Topics for Last Wishes

Monday, December 8th, 2008

If you’ve ever been involved with planning someone’s funeral, you might understand the difficulties with planning arrangements at the last moment. The words are more difficult to write for the eulogy or for the obituary, the flowers seem too obnoxious because too many were ordered, and the casket became far too expensive, because the family wanted the best.

But, what did the deceased want? If you don’t want to burden your family through these difficulties when you die, then you can pre-plan your funeral now as you determine your last wishes. You can put your preferences in writing and provide copies for family members, your attorney and to the funeral home. Don’t designate your preferences in your will, because that will may not be read until after the funeral. Also, don’t put the only copy of your preferences in a safety deposit box, as your family may need to make arrangements on a weekend or holiday, on days when that bank is closed. Also, upon death, these boxes are sealed and they are opened only to those whose name appears on the contract.

Other reasons to pre-plan (not necessarily prepay) your funeral include:

  • To learn more about the funeral industry and to increase your knowledge about funeral planning terms and arrangements;
  • To understand costs and implications of planning a funeral;
  • To become aware of rules and laws regarding funerals and burials;
  • To understand funeral and burial alternatives; and,
  • To become a better consumer in planning a funeral

What do you want on your list of funeral arrangements? Perhaps the following list will help you get started, but your list can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. Additionally, these topics are ongoing, as life changes alter what you want. Marriage, other deaths, the addition of children or moves to other states or countries will modify your final wishes. But, when you spend time on these topics with loved ones, you may learn more about yourself and your loved ones – a wish that you can enjoy while you’re still alive.

  1. Burial Plans: A traditional funeral, including a casket and vault, costs about $6,000 to $8,000. These costs do not include ‘extras’ such as released balloons, doves, flowers and more. While your family may want some extras to commemorate you, you might decide to allow them to use those extras in a memorial service while you choose a less expensive burial plan. This topic will help you decide if you want to go the traditional route, or if you’d prefer an alternative burial, such as cremation.
  2. PrePayments: If you’ve decided upon your funeral option, do you want to prepay or do you want to use your insurance, bank account or trust account to pay upon your death? Keep in mind that through time, with prepayment, prices may go up and businesses may close or change ownership. Further, in some areas with increased competition, prices may go down over time. Finally, as you age, you may decide to change your funeral plans. Depending upon your arrangements, that prepayment option may not be transferable.
  3. Funeral Arrangements: While funeral arrangements can be made along with burial plans, often people decide to seperate the burial from the funeral by asking for alternatives. For a traditional funeral service, the body is present. A traditional funeral service usually includes visitation and funeral followed by burial or entombment; a funeral service with cremation following the service; or graveside services. A nontraditional service includes anything that deviates from the traditional service, and may include a nonreligious ceremony, a memorial service or another type of celebration. A memorial service usually indicates the body is not present. Memorial services are common for those who want to practice a full-body donation to science.
  4. Dying Away from Home: When you decide upon your funeral and burial plans, make sure that all documents contain information about what might happen if you die away from home. In many cases, extra costs for shipping the body to a funeral home may occur. Funeral homes may provid “professional courtesies” to other funeral homes out of state, so families should contact the funeral home in the state where the funeral service will be held. If you have donated your body to a state research facility, they may not accept your body if you die out of that state.
  5. Seek Financial Assistance: In some states, individuals can set aside money for funeral/burial expenses, and some states may allow that fund to remain tax-free. Do some research in your state through funeral homes or attorneys to discover what you can save or set aside for your plans.
  6. Body Disposal Expenses: If you don’t know where you would like to be buried, now’s the time to make that decision. A traditional burial requires a full plot and you have more than one option for a headstone if desired. A cremation may require only a partial plot, depending upon the cemetery and local laws. The second option has become more desirable for couples who wish to cut costs on burial plots. Ashes also can be scattered. You can research various options, costs and legal boundaries with this option. Remember that cemetery expenses, just as burial and funeral expenses, will change over time.
  7. Write an Obituary: This is a great way to learn more about yourself, and a wonderful way to involve the family. Basically, an obituary is a very short biography, which includes who you are, what you do, when and where you died (you can leave this blank for now!), your relationships to closest family members, predeceased family members, and when and where your services will be held (another item that can be left blank). You may also want to include special wishes, such as donations to charity rather than flowers. Begin by looking at obituaries in the paper or online and picking a few that you like. Use them as templates to write your own story.
  8. Bequests: Who will be your beneficiaries, and how much will you leave? Sometimes this exercise can help you muster the will to work harder and save more so you can leave behind a legacy that everyone either loves or can fight over.
  9. Traditional Will: The traditional will outlines how and how much you want to leave behind to others, wishes for your property and naming guardian(s) for your minor children. Can you make a will without an attorney? The answer depends on your situation. If you’re like most people, you won’t need a lawyer, but check with state laws where you reside to be assured about your situation.
  10. Living Will: Living wills and a health care “power of attorney” forms allow you to express your preferences regarding your medical treatment, should you become unable to communicate your wishes due to illness or permanent unconsciousness. They also allow you to designate a person who can make end-of-life care decisions on your behalf. This topic should be discussed with family, so you don’t present any surprises when you’re unable to communicate. Some state laws may modify how you write this document, so be sure to check with those laws to make sure you abide by them otherwise, you might not get what you wish for.