“In every age man faces a pervasive theme which defies his engagement and yet must be engaged. In Freud’s day it was sexuality and moralism. Now it is unlimited technological violence and absurd death. We do well to name the threat and to analyze its components. But our need is to go further, to create new psychic and social forms to enable us to reclaim not only our technologies, but our very imaginations, in the service of the continuity of life.” ~ Robert Jay Lifton
A lone gunman killed at least 12 people and himself this past Friday at an immigration services center in Binghamton, New York. This is just one of many disasters that seems to affect anyone who reads about senseless violence. Other stories over the past few years include what is now known as the Virginia Tech Massacre, last year’s terrorist attacks in Mumbai and the recent arson fires in Australia. How do you cope with your feelings when you read about lives lost through seemingly senseless violence?
Robert Lifton, a psychiatrist, once stated that we are all survivors of Hiroshima. This statement meant that – as readers of stories about disasters – you are the survivor who must face your feelings about senseless deaths (see more about Survivor Syndrome). Therefore, readers must deal with the stages of grief and the guilt that comes with being a person who managed to survive yet another tragedy. But, feelings vary depending upon whether the reader connects with the story or not.
As one researcher put it:
Focus groups to date have indicated that individuals identify with family members when they see disasters on media. Many individuals resent the questions that media personnel direct to family members. Some people report they are “kept awake” by this coverage, that they have nightmares, that they have stopped watching TV news as a result. Age diff erences seem to emerge, with some older individuals being quite practical in thinking that death is not far from them anyway. Many people speak of shock and disbelief when they first hear of a major disaster through the media. They then think about themselves: “That could have been me.”
How to Cope
One way to help dispel some feelings of guilt and grief includes discussion with others. One sociologist has studied how social networking plays a role during disasters, beginning with the shooting at Virginia Polytechnic Institute when a student killed 32 other students and professors and then turned the gun on himself.
“Social networking tools allow people to instantly share their grief, says Jeannette Sutton of the University of Colorado’s Natural Hazards Center. “What more can you do when there’s this kind of destruction of human beings other than saying, ‘I care and I am sad,’” said Sutton.
Another way to deal with raw feelings is to recognize the five stages of grief. Once you realize where you stand in this hierarchy, you might be able to cope better with your sense of sadness, anger and depression. If you find that you are dealing with lower motivation and morale, feelings of guilt, flashbacks or nightmares, you may want to seek help from a professional grief counselor. You might find a local counselor through the Center for Grief Recovery.
I was young when my grandmother died, but I remember clearly how I felt. I was sad, but mostly I was scared. I didn’t know what had happened, and – in my family – children were the last ones to know about details. That experience finally led me to counseling, which was a great move. You see, that counseling taught me how to talk about death with my own daughter.
If you’re familiar with the 
Until the 1970s, many physicians were intent on keeping the living alive, rather than listening to patients’ death wishes. That changed when